What Makes Sex Musical?

Variety.
Everyone needs embellishments in the bedroom, and not only in the manner of bed linens and lighting. A spectrum of colors creates a beautiful sunset, assorted toppings enhance a decadent banana spilt (probably why plain sex is known as “vanilla”), different notes and rhythms make a symphony, and sexual variety contributes to a better relationship in the bedroom and beyond. Life and sex are like a pizza: We all have a common base on which to build, and customizing the pie with a range of toppings—based on our preferences, religions, past experiences, and curiosity—results in the most delicious pizza for our individual style and taste. But how do you get from a plain pizza to a house special, from a few notes to a symphony, and from a scoop of ice cream to a hot fudge sundae when most sex books just teach you about the sauce, fingering, and wet nuts?

The key lies in knowing how to progress from one point to the next, and that is what separates this book from the rest. This book teaches you how to evolve or progress from one sexual form to another —composers and architects call such a device a bridge. Sexologists call these subtle shifts transitions. Every starting position in every chapter connects to the next with detailed instructions that will make you feel less like you are playing Twister, and more like you are an astute sexpert with grace and confidence.

Not only will these words and pictures help you transition from A to B, but this book will also guide you in making sex a whole-body experience. In my private practice and throughout this book, I dispel the myth of what too many people conceive of as “normal” intercourse—which is more like ESP, or exceptional sexual performance—where the man’s penis is always erect, the woman’s vagina is always moist, and both are always eager for more. I also want to make clear that sex does not rely on genitals alone. The best sex that you can have depends on a complex array of five senses (our “instruments”) that our minds arrange, our hearts conduct, and our souls applaud.

Because I want sex to be a whole-body experience for you—full of pleasure, fun, and laughter, and free of disease, coercion, discomfort, or regret—I have taken as much guesswork out of the bedroom as possible. This book and the lessons it contains will save you money and countless hours in sex counseling—and you can reap its benefits from the comfort and privacy of your bedroom, which is where sex-positive messages belong.

Finally, the chapters and their positions increase in difficulty—like a piano student moving from the two-fingered Chopsticks to Ravel’s near-impossible Gaspard de la Nuit. The easier positions will help you enjoy and master the basics, while the demanding formations will set a higher bar and force you to develop your mind and your flexibility.